一日三秋 Days Are Long Without You

秀君和孩子們回美國才不到一個月，怎麼覺得好像好久了，古人說，一日不見，如隔三秋，以前覺得描寫的太誇張了吧，現在卻真的有那種時間過得很慢的感覺，特別是又要面對造口和化療的一些副作用，真希望有些事情讓我分心一下，應該偷偷把一個小孩留下來在臺灣陪我，一直吵我、煩我，日子會過得快一些。

Siew and the kids had just gone back to the U.S. for less than a month, but it seems like I haven’t seen them forever.  There is an old Chinese saying, “A day without you feels like being three autumns.” I used to think that statement was overly exaggerating, but now the time really seems to go by quite slowly, especially when I have to deal some of the side effects of the colostomy bag and the chemotherapy at this time.  I really wish that I had “stolen” one of the kids so he or she could stay with me here in Taiwan, nagging me and bothering me, so my attention would be divided and the day would go by faster.  

            有一件很想念的事情是他們還在臺灣的時候，每次出門，7歲的沐恩會跑過來牽我的手，我們會玩好牧人的遊戲，他假裝看不見，或是我假裝看不見，我們就得牽著假裝看不見的對方走一段路。有一次他突然問我，假如有一天他真的看不見了，我還會不會喜歡他，我哽咽地說，我當然還是會，而且會更疼他（但是我心裏想，我這癌症不知將結果如何，希望我會有辦法照顧他）。他們回美國之後，有一次我在一個小麵店裏等我的便當，我問 神，假如有一天我再沒有辦法服事了，手不能寫，口不能講，祂還會繼續地喜悅我嗎，祂就讓我想起我和沐恩的這段對話，祂說，我喜悅你，比你喜悅你的兒子更多更多倍。

            One of the things that I really miss was that when they were still in Taiwan, my 7-year old son Samuel would hold my hands when we went out for a walk.  We would play the “good shepherd” game.  He would pretend to be blind or I would pretend to be blind, then we have to lead each other for a while.  One time during the game, he asked me, “Will you still like me if I am really blind?”  I choked on my reply, “Of course I would.  I will love you and like you even more.”  (But I was thinking, what would happen to me with this cancer thing?  I hope I can take care of him.)  After they have gone back to the States, one time I was waiting for my lunch at a little noodle shop.  I asked God, “Would You still enjoy me if one day I cannot serve You anymore – I cannot write and cannot speak?”  He reminded me of the conversation between me and Samuel.  He said that He enjoys me much and much more than I enjoy my son.

            我一直無法好好地進入國際禱告殿中啓示錄的信息，也許是因為我過去神學院的背景，總是覺得這篇信息的神學基礎太差了。這次與妻子和孩子們分離，最想要的，就是希望能趕快回美國，和他們團聚，還有兩個多月呢！這樣的心情幫助我體驗到國際禱告殿啓示錄信息中的精髓，耶穌祂將再回來，祂思念祂新婦的程度，遠遠超過我們的想像，若是我們認識到祂愛情的豐富和炙熱，這會顛覆我們的生活，不再一樣，祂為了祂的聖潔新婦，將不顧一切地挪去所有攔阻他們在一起的罪惡，審判所有的人、事、物。啓示錄和雅歌的信息看起來是兩個不同的方向，但是其實，都是為了愛，都是為了愛。

            最近在讀和翻譯一些信息（還是雅歌），成熟一點的時候，再找機會把他們放在部落格上。

            I always had trouble to enter IHOP-KC End-Time messages.  It has probably to do with my seminary backgrounds.  I always find these messages without sounding theological foundations.  This time when I am separated from my wife and kids, what I want more than anything is to return to the U.S. and be with them.  Oh, two more months!!!  This helps me to understand the core essence behind the IHOP-KC end-time messages.  Jesus will return to earth.  The magnitude of Jesus’ love for His Bride is far beyond our imagination.  If we gain revelation on the riches and the passion of His love, it will turn our little world upside down.  He will remove anything that hinders the union between Him and His holy and blameless Bride, judging any sins, people or things on His way.  The messages of Song of Songs and Revelation seem to be very different directions, but ultimately, it is all about love; all about love.

            Recently, I am reading and translating some messages (still on Song of Songs).  I will post them on the blog when they are more ready and mature.