Bridal Paradigm (4): Merciful God

Gazing on the emotions of God is amazing. Before, when I read something like “He is merciful” or “His love endures forever” in the Bible, I would read it through and quickly move on to “more important” verses. To me they were just “fillers” in the Bible, descriptions or “nice things” said in order to make God look good. But now, I would go “slow” on these words describing his emotions or his attributes and my life is very different.

For example, what does it mean by He is “merciful”? I meditate on that and ask the Spirit of wisdom and revelation to unpack it for me. Over two days, a vague picture began to emerge. A merciful God is that forgiving King in Matthew 18, that compassionate Healer in Mark 2, that generous Provider producing from the five loaves and two fish, that suffering Servant on the cross asking forgiveness for those who crucified Him and the One who relented for his servants Moses and David. Being merciful is risk taking, for it opens the door of rejection, ingratitude and all sorts of immature responses. Being merciful is willingly let go of one’s right and power to allow others’ existence, however offensive, puny, gross or insignificant that may be.

God is this omnipotent supernatural being who is being “merciful” to me. Why? Why? Why? He could wipe out the entire army of 180,000 with one of his angels but He chooses to risk his dignity for me. Why does He do that? He forgives me over and over again, shows me his compassion over and over again and provides for me over and over again even though I rejected him and was ungrateful toward him so many, many times. This is his mercy. This is his emotions toward me. And I know that He enjoys being merciful to me. He does not grind his teeth when I don’t “get it”. He looks at my mistakes with a smile (sometimes with a rod, too) and ready to welcome me with both of his arms. That is his mercy. With my weak glance and my feeble obedience, His heart is ravished. That is his mercy, too. How can I argue or reason to a merciful God like this? His love is beyond reasons and His mercy overrides every argument.

In the past, talking to people “about” God for many nights of a week was easy but talking “to” Him for a few hours was impossible. My prayer life before consisted primarily rambling on of my ministry to-do lists or requests of my personal needs. I could never sit before God for hours like Mary. That was not real “work” and what should I think about in those hours? But now I cannot help but just meditate on his mercy, his patience, his kindness toward me. Thinking about them transforms my life, too. I act toward my wife and children differently. I approach ministry differently. I love myself a little more, too. You can’t blame me because my God loves me whole lot more.