乞丐王子 The Beggar and the Prince

5誰像耶和華─我們的神呢？他坐在至高之處，6自己謙卑，觀看天上地下的事。7他從灰塵裡擡舉貧寒人，從糞堆中提拔窮乏人，8使他們與王子同坐，就是與本國的王子同坐。9他使不能生育的婦人安居家中，為多子的樂母。你們要讚美耶和華！（詩篇113：5-9）
5 Who is like the LORD our God, who dwells on high, 6 who humbles Himself to behold the things that are in the heavens and in the earth? 7 He raises the poor out of the dust, and lifts the needy out of the ash heap, 8 that He may seat him with princes— with the princes of His people.  9 He grants the barren woman a home, like a joyful mother of children.  Praise the LORD!  (Psalm 113: 5 – 9)

開完刀後一個星期左右，我對 神說：“告訴我你有多愛我，我要再聼一次！”
About a week after the surgery, I asked God, “Tell me how much You love me.  I want to hear it again.”

第二天，一位在醫院工作多年的慧珍姐妹來探望我，她說到，越知道醫院内部運作的情形，就會知道其實去醫院看醫生都是隨便排的（剛掛牌看診的醫生也需要有病人），所以除非你熟悉各科的醫生，否則就是隨便就醫了。小病就算了，大家都差不多，但是遇到大病、嚴重的病，醫生好不好，真的差很多。若是要找到好醫生（你這個病症的專家，經驗豐富，還有研究報告），還真得有些辦法。我的張簡俊榮醫生應該是台灣數一數二的大醫院中直腸科四位教授級（最高等級）的醫生中，年資最久、最有經驗、出過不少研究報告的醫生。我回台灣第二天就安排和他會診，第二星期就開始用藥醫治，沒有耽誤治療時間。我這個人無論是在台灣，還是美國，都是沒錢沒名沒權勢的小人物，怎麼會立刻就找到好醫生，而且看病、住病房都可以插隊呢？都是因為我認得那位在天上的大醫生的緣故。
Hui-Zhen who worked in the hospital for many years came to visit me the next day.  She told us that a patient is usually treated by random doctors (new, inexperienced doctors also need to have patients), so unless you are familiar with the doctors, you will get whoever is available.  There is not much difference when it comes to minor illness but if your case is serious, then a veteran doctor on your area makes a lot of difference.  To find a good doctor (expertise, experiences and even publish medical reports) requires connections and sometimes financial resources.  My doctor is one of the four “professor level” doctors in probably the most prominent hospital in Taiwan with the most seniority, experiences and medical reports on colorectal cancer.  I met with him the second day I arrived Taiwan and was treated immediately without any delay.  Honestly, no matter in Taiwan or in the United States, I am just a nobody with no money, no fame and no power.  So how did I find a good doctor immediately?  And how can I cut in line when it comes to doctor visits and waiting for the overcrowded hospital rooms?  It is all because I know the Big Doc in heaven.   
 
過了一、兩天後，Rebecca 來醫院探望，正好是傍晚的時候，看到我的病房，說這太誇張了吧，台灣很少有病房可以這樣看著夕陽下山，視野這麼遼闊，風景這麼好的。我想，是啊！我住的都是最好的病房，而且醫療費都有人奉獻。又想到一個月前，住台中的Esther來探望我們，她是一位護士，聽到我的情形，說連在台灣本地人都很少有我這樣的待遇。我的姐夫探望我時也說，（好的）工作不能等你等幾個月，所以就算有癌症，大部分的人還是抱病上班，不然就是放棄工作，但放棄工作，經濟上又會有危機，還有醫療帳單，所以我這樣可以沒有後顧之憂、專心養病的情形，很少見。
A day or two afterwards, Rebecca came to the hospital to visit us.  She saw my hospital room and exclaimed that this is too luxurious.  How rare it is to stay at a hospital room in Taiwan with such a great view!  It is next to a pond and full of trees and one can see the sun sets from my room without any obstruction.  Yes, I have been staying at the best hospital room and every medical bill has been paid for.  About a month ago, Esther from Taiwan came to visit.  She is a nurse and after she heard my case, she mentioned that it is rare for even the locals to get the type of treatments that I got.  My brother-in-law came to visit me also said that (good) jobs won’t wait around for you for several months.  Therefore, people usually work even with cancers, unless they want to give up their jobs.  If they lose their jobs, their finance will be in crisis and they also have to deal with the medical bills.  It is rare to see people can focus on their treatments without any financial burdens.

想到15 年前，我決定要全時間出來服事 神的時候，有一位長老勸我不要想不開，工作好的很，不要去做牧師，等於做乞丐。3年前，神更是感動我放下牧養的工作，放棄固定的薪水，放棄醫療保險，過信心生活。我回應：我願意，但是你要看顧我的生活，讓我不愁收入，不生大病。祂那一年對我說了3次，詩篇34篇10節：“少壯獅子還缺食忍餓，但尋求耶和華的什麼好處都不缺。” 我們全家的衣食的確從來沒有短缺過，但是，小孩還大病過幾次，現在我又得癌症，但是卻發現，我仍然真的什麼好處都不缺，祂的信實真的可以為糧（詩 37:3）。
I remember 15 years ago, when I first decided to serve God full-time, an elder urged me not to give up my promising job to become a beggar.  3 years ago, God invited to give up my pastoral job and live by faith without a steady income and medical insurance.  I said yes to Him but asked Him to keep me out of financial lacking and serious illnesses.  He said to me three times that year:  “The young lions lack and suffer hunger; but those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing.” (Psalm 34:10)  We never lacked any food or clothes since, but the kids got sick couple of times and now I got cancer.  Even so, I find that I still never lack any good thing and feed on His faithfulness (Psalm 37:3).

更誇張的是，這三年來， 神一直帶領我研讀雅歌的信息，這個愛耶穌的信息不受教會界的歡迎，有時候我真的不知道我在做什麼，只好問神：“確定嗎？要我這樣一直專注在一篇沒人要聼的信息上面嗎？”答案是肯定的，我就一直順服下去，不知道“前途”將如何。結果，三年後，我就對台灣的一個機構講了一次雅歌的信息（在美國分享了幾次），而這個機構就成為我在對抗癌症中最忠實的財務上和禱告上夥伴，醫生是他們安排的，醫療費是他們奉獻的，每一天有幾十位或上百位的同工為我禱告。想想，這都是因為一篇雅歌的信息，這樣的屬靈旅程和這樣不可思議的恩寵真的是我測不透的，有些瘋狂！
In the past 3 years, God has led me to study the message of Song of Songs, an unpopular message amongst the church world.  Sometimes I really have no clue of what I am doing so I would ask Him, “Are You sure?  Do You want me just focus on this one message that no one wants to hear?”  The answer that I got from Him was affirmative so I continued to obey Him with knowing what is going to happen to my future.  The result is that after 3 years, I spoke the message of Song of Songs to one organization one time (I shared a few times in the U.S.) and this very organization became my most faithful financial and prayer partner in Taiwan helping me to fight cancer: they found me the doctor, paid for my medical bills and tens or hundreds of their staffs prayed for me daily.  It is all because of one Song of Songs message.  To ponder over this spiritual journey and this incredible favor is quite beyond my comprehension and a little crazy to me.

在發現得癌症和就醫的這件事上，覺得 神一直在提醒我，我擁有王子的待遇，雖然我什麼都沒有，連可以拿出來的信息就是那一百零一篇雅歌的信息，但是就是因為認識祂，順服祂，祂就提拔了我。投靠祂真的勝於投靠人，投靠王子。耶穌成了乞丐，我才能成為王子。還是那一句老話，你為什麼對我這麼好？
Throughout this whole process of cancer, God keeps on reminding me that I have been treated like a prince.  Even though I have nothing and the only message that I have is the Song of Songs message, He has lifted me up because I know Him and obey Him.  Relying on Him is really better than relying on people and on princes.  Jesus has become a beggar so I can be a prince.  I am still wondering, “Why are You so good to me?”